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"I'm Not Afraid of The Dark"
# 68,

Consensus Realityc
               (When is Time ?)

                                                                  for Laurie Anderson

SPIRIT FOUND FORM
THROUGH DESIRE/AS DESIRE FINDS FOCUS THROUGH FORMS
DIFFERENTLY/DESIRE IS A MATTER OF INTERPRETATION,
SEEMS T0 INVOLVE ONLY FEELINGS,
AND NO THOUGHT AT ALL/NOT THINKING OF ITSELF COMPLETELY REAL/
DESIRE IS SEEMINGLY ACHIEVED THROUGH OTHERS/DESIRE IS NOTHING
BY ITSELF/THOUGH ALONE
AND AFRAID
DESIRE IS/........................ OF SELF- DISCOVERY/FOR DESIRE
DOES NOT UNDERSTAND SPIRIT/AND SPIRIT IS INVISIBLE TO
DESIRE............................ /DESIRE ONLY APPEARS SPIRITED IN ITS HUNGER/FOR DESIRE IS INSATIABLE
AND CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH/CONSUMING ONLY WHAT IT SEEKS
TO DOMINATE AND DESTROY/SPIRIT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE
BECAUSE ALONE IT CANNOT BE PERCEIVED/SPIRIT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE
BECAUSE IT DOES NOT REQUIRE YOUR BELIEF/........................ FINDING ITS BASIS AND BEING FOREVER
BEYOND IT/SPIRIT is LIFE
AND NOT THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE/WHAT GOES AGAINST LIFE AND SPIRIT
IS NOT REALITY/FOR SPIRIT IS FOREVER ALIVE AND KIND/WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE IS NOT SPIRIT
BUT ILLUSION/FOR REALITY IS ONLY FRIGHTENING TO A TWISTED MIND/WHAT, BUT ILLUSIONS
CAN DECEIVE THE MIND WITH TIME?/WHAT, BUT ILLUSIONS ARE THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE?/WHAT, BUT ILLUSIONS
ARE THE OPPOSITE OF SPIRIT?/WHAT, BUT ILLUSIONS COULD YOU NEED TO BE ENLIGHTENED TO
FOR YOU DON'T REALLY WANT THEM/AND THEY ROB YOU
OF YOUR MIND/WHAT IS DECEPTION CANNOT SATISFY YOU
AS YOUR SPIRIT SATISFIES/WHAT IS TEMPORARY CANNOT SATISFY YOU
AS YOUR SPIRIT SATISFIES/WHAT IS NOTHING CANNOT SATISFY YOU
WITH INSUBSTANTIAL WHIM AND FANCY
WHERE YOUR SPIRIT BY DESIGN
CAN ALWAYS SATISFY YOUR MIND/BUT WHAT IS ENDLESS AND FOREVER YOU MUSTALWAYS KEEP IN MIND/
SPIRIT IS DEATHLESS UNLESS IT HAS
DESIRE/SPIRIT NEEDS NOTHING
BUT PERFECT PEACE/WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE FEAR OF DEATH CANNOT REALLY OPPOSE TRUE LIFE/WHATSEEMS TO
BE THE FEAR OF DEATH IS REALLY ITS ATTRACTION/WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE FEAR OF LIFE
IS NOT TOTALLY TRUE LIFE, UNTRUE EVEN TO ITSELF/BUT A PATHETIC AND TWISTED IMITATION OF LIGHT
AND IS MORE A LIVING DEATH THAN A LIFE AT ONE WITH SPIRIT/SUCH IS THE LIFE THAT IS LIVED UNINSPIRED ... ENSLAVED
AND AFRAID/FOR WHAT IS TRUE CANNOT BE OPPOSED/IT CAN ONLY BE DENIED/AND ONE CANNOT DEFY
WHAT DOES N0T EXIST/FOR WHAT DOES NOT EXIST HAS ONLY THE ILLUSION OF LIFE/............ FINDING ITS BASIS AND BEING
FOREVER BEYOND IT/SPIRIT IS LIFE AND NOT THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE/SPIRIT IS LIFE AND OPPOSES NOTHING/WHAT HAS NO
OPPOSITE CANNOT BE OPPOSED EXCEPT IN ILLUSION/DEATH IS ILLUSION AND SO DESIRE BELIEVES NOTHING
CAN OPPOSE IT/SPIRIT IS NOT CONFLICTED HERE .... ONLY DESIRE IS/SPIRIT IS NOT CONFUSED
AS IT DOES NOT UTILIZE PERCEPTION AT ALL/ DESIRE IS ALWAYS CONFUSED BECAUSE IT DOES/SPIRIT CAN ONLY KNOW THE
ETERNAL/DESIRE CAN ONLY PERCEIVE THE EPHEMERAL/AND SO DESIRE DEFINES ITS PLEASURES AND PAINS
INDIVIDUALLY../SPIRlT IS BEYOND THE NEED FOR DEFINITION/UNDERSTANDING UNIVERSALLY AND INSPIRING LIMITLESS LOVE/DESIRE
SEEKS FIRM LIMITS FOR ITS SAFET/IAND USES SEPARATION, ANALYSIS AND ISOLATION FOR ITS SENSE OF DEFINITI0N/THOUGH ALWAYS
HUNGRY AND IN PAIN, AND UNDERSTANDING NOTHING/DESIRE IS INSATIABLY NEEDY AND ANXIOUS, BUT SPIRIT DESIRES NOTHING AS A PERFECT CREATION/SO DESIRE ALWAYS CREATES CHAOS IN SICK IMITATION, WHICH SPIRIT IN PERFECT ORDER, CAN NEVER
KNOW/SPIRIT, BEING EVERYWHERE, PERCEIVES NOTHING/SPIRIT PERCEIVES NOTHING, THOUGH I THINK I DESIRE IT/I AM SPIRIT
THOUGH I DON'T THINK I KNOW THIS/WHEN I DESIRE
I CANNOT KNOW/WHEN l KNOW
I CANNOT DESIRE/I BELIEVE IN THIS WORLD ONLY
BECAUSE I CAN PROVE IT WITH EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE/I BELIEVE THIS WORLD
I CAN PROVE WITH EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE
IS NOT MY SAVAGE FANTASY/
BUT ONLY MY REALITY/AND I THINK I CAN LOVE IT
THOUGH IT HAS NEVER
LOVED ME/THIS WORLD THAT / CAN PROVE WITH EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE
IS DISPIRITING BECAUSE I GIVE IT MEANING/THIS WORLD IS MEANINGLESS
BASED ON MY MEANINGLESS PERCEPTIONS OF IT/AND MY MEANINGLESS IDEAS AND
JUDGEMENTS THAT I GIVE IT/THEY CAN ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD AS JUST PERCEPTIONS (THOUGH NEVER TRULY KNOWN) \ WHEN I
AM WILLING TO STOP JUDGING REALITY/WHEN I SURRENDER MY JUDGEMENT ENTIRELY/TO THE INDWELLING SPIRIT IN ME THAT KNOWS/I
CAN ONLY SEEM T0 THINK BY POPULAR CHANGING OPINION/AND BY THIS I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND /I BELIEVE
THE PURPOSE OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I PERCEIVE
IS T0 PROVE, THROUGH MY UNSTABLE, FRAGILE AND LIMITED PERCEPTIONS
THAT ONLY MY CHANGING OPINIONS AND JUDGEMENTS OF REALITY ARE TRUE/(so Fuck You... AND YOUR WEIRD IDEAS!)/AND TO
THIS END DO I ATTEMPT TO USE
EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING/I AM
ALWAYS ANXIOUS,
CONSEQUENTLY/BECAUSE I DO N0T BELIEVE MY SPIRIT IS MY LIFE/THIS WORLD IS FRIGHTENING,
CONSEQUENTLY/BECAUSE IT RESTS ON THE PERCEPTION OF
DEATH AS ENLIGHTENMENT/AND WHILE I PERCEIVE
DEATH AS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE
THIS WORLD WILL BE PURE SUFFERING
WITH ONLY LIMITED INDULGENCES OF AN ILLUSION OF LOVE ALLOWED ME/AND WHILE I PERCEIVE
DEATH AS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE
I WILL NEVER APPRECIATE MEANING IN ANYONE OR IN ANYTHING/AND WHILE I PERCEIVE
DEATH AS THE MEANING OF LIFE
I WILL ONLY WORSHIP, LOVE AND DESIRE DEATH, THE HIDDEN SOURCE OF ALL MY HATRED/NEVER REALLY THINKING
OTHERWISE, OR EVEN CONSIDERING MY TRUE POTENTIAL/LOST IN BLOSSOMING EVIL SOCIETIES/AND FRANTIC
I WILL SEEK, VAINLY AND SADLY
AMONG THE BROKEN DOLLS AND TWISTED TOYS OF TERROR,
SICKNESS /AND INSANITY ...
FOR A SPECIAL LOVE MEANT JUST FOR ME/IN A PERCEIVABLE
CONSENSUS REALITY
WHERE NO ONE BELIEVES
IT EXISTS!

12 April 1999,
Brooklyn,NYC

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